My winter hobbies include:
1) making bacon
2) eating bacon
3) staring at the list of “in-progress” submissions on my submittable account, silently willing them to switch to “accepted”
4) thinking about going outside
5) not going outside
6) instagramming my bacon
So, I started watching American Horror Story, and I think it is horrible in a very entertaining way (the first season, at least). The characters sort of just exist to deliver plot points, but the show still managed to make me kind of afraid of The Murder House.
I Netflix-binged a lot of AHS episodes and made soup today. I felt vaguely creeped out the whole time I was cooking. Thinking, like, what if my apartment was an Evil Apartment? What if there was Dark Energy in my carrots? What if my soup was somehow Murder Soup?
Of course, I know that none of those things are really things, but I am impressed with my brain’s ability to internalize ridiculous concepts that Ryan Murphy probably thought of while he was eating a cheeseburger and texting Lea Michele or something. Murder House is stupid, but I can’t forget it. My soup was good and decidedly un-murdery (I think).
Historically, I have always resented neighbors who play their music loudly enough that I can hear it through the floor. But how can I be mad at a neighbor who seems to have the exact same taste in music as me? A neighbor who has an uncanny ability to play songs that suit my mood perfectly? I am actually kind of thrilled at my neighbor’s rudeness.
My roommates are less amused.
I wonder what the kids who take the practice tests I write would think if they knew how many of the questions were written as I listened to/sang along with Mariah Carey’s greatest hits?
My roommate went on a two week vacation to Columbia and told me to please eat the fresh herbs she keeps in the refrigerator so they don’t go bad.
Suddenly, it seems that all the food I prepare is gourmet quality.
Did you know that tuna salad, just like everything else, is better with freshly chopped thyme and tarragon? Did you know that fresh herbs can give you the (false) notion that you live a life of luxury, if only for a little while? My life is better today because of tarragon. My life is better because of thyme. My kitchen smells like Gordon Ramsay could walk in and berate me at any moment.